Yell No More

Do you know that yelling at your kid is not the key to getting his attention? Actually,what only registers in his mind is that you’re mad at him for something he’s done, and then he tunes out. That’s it. More attention is given to fiddling with his Ipod rather than on your red, angry face.

Too often when there’s conflict between parents and children, anger often escalates to yelling in a desperate attempt to get the child’s attention. But as a clinical psychologist once mentioned, “The more you yell, the less they hear.”

It’s okay to vent out your anger, but it should be a “controlled anger.” You are annoyed but rational, and if directed appropriately will most likely get through the child — like, to stop him from running across the street. But when anger becomes furious or frantic, it can be hurtful. We no longer think. We react. You’d most likely say, “You always…” or “You never should…” rather than focusing on the issue. I am guilty of this as my seven year old son once streaked off to the street, almost getting himself run over. I was furious and scared at the same time, and yelled at him in front of a throng of strangers.

Yelling at your children may cause a change in their temperament. If they are already on the sensitive side, this would make them even more anxious. This would then lead to depression and even withdrawal. Other children try to cope by learning by example — overexpressing anger with their siblings and friends and by going on the defensive if attacked.

So what should you do if you feel like you are about to lose your temper? According to psychologists, the best thing to do would be to rate your anger from 0 to 10. If the rating is between 1 to 3, simply let the anger go. But if the anger is around 7, 8, 9 or 10, the best thing to do would be to resolve the conflict til you calm down.

Anorexic? No way!

Angie, a good friend of mine, had just turned 40. We had been friends since high school, and she was just one of those girls that you’d think did everything perfectly. She was pretty, smart, had a great figure (which the boys always noticed, much to our dismay), and was very fashionable. After a whirlwind courtship and a romantic wedding, she and her lawyer husband left for the States.

Two weeks ago, the old gang found out that she was back in our hometown and we decided to give her a surprise/post birthday dinner party. Expecting to see a radiant balikbayan, we were shocked to see how thin and pale Angie was. This was not the vivacious girl we knew in high school. We acted as if nothing was wrong.

Angie, I later found out, had anorexia. Her job as an editor for a local magazine stressed her out, and her relationship with her husband was becoming strained. Thinking a change would make things work out, she went on a diet and lost five pounds in two weeks. Losing the weight easily made her happy. So, another five was dropped in the next two weeks. Over the next few months, twenty more pounds was lost. She no longer had breakfast or lunch. Instead she jogged. Dinner was just a salad with a low calorie dressing.

Nowadays, we are seeing more and more cases of anorexia and bulimia. Aside from teens, older women are now being affected, mostly from the ages of 30 to 60. So, what usually triggers this disorder? The problem is often brought about by a midlife crisis: a stagnant or stressful career, a failed relationship or a faltering marriage, empty nests and aging. Studies show that if this disorder is treated early through therapy, older women are more likely to respond to treatment compared to teenagers.

Angie has gone back to the States, and I haven’t heard from her yet. I’m praying that she’ll seek help before it’s too late.

How To Make Herbal Teas

Herbal teas have long been used by the Chinese for centuries for enjoyment, as well as for its medicinal properties. Nowadays, more and more people are becoming aware of this fact. A popular and easy way to enjoy the benefits of herbal teas is by making an infusion with hot water. If you grow your own herbs, you can be assured that what will be used will be fresh. Dried herbs should be stored in an airtight container, and in the dark, to preserve its properties.

1. Use one to two teaspoons of dried herbs per cup of hot water. Make sure to use only the leaves and not the stems. If using fresh herbs, make it four teaspoons.
2. Never use boiling water as this will scorch the herbs.
3. Wait a minute or two for the water to cool a bit, then infuse the herbs.
4 A tisane cup is indispensable, as it has an iternal strainer. If not, you may use a small teapot. Let the herb in the hot water for at least ten minutes to infus fully.
5. Before serving, strain the leaves and sweeten with sugar or honey. May add a little milk, if preferred

How To Make Herbal Teas

Herbal teas have long been used by the Chinese for centuries for enjoyment, as well as for its medicinal properties. Nowadays, more and more people are becoming aware of this fact. A popular and easy way to enjoy the benefits of herbal teas is by making an infusion with hot water. If you grow your own herbs, you can be assured that what will be used will be fresh. Dried herbs should be stored in an airtight container, and in the dark, to preserve its properties.

1. Use one to two teaspoons of dried herbs per cup of hot water. Make sure to use only the leaves and not the stems. If using fresh herbs, make it four teaspoons.
2. Never use boiling water as this will scorch the herbs.
3. Wait a minute or two for the water to cool a bit, then infuse the herbs.
4 A tisane cup is indispensable, as it has an internal strainer. If not, you may use a small teapot. Let the herb in the hot water for at least ten minutes to infus fully.
5. Before serving, strain the leaves and sweeten with sugar or honey. May add a little milk, if preferred

Treating a UTI with Cranberry juice

Having a UTI or Urinary Tract Infection is an experience I’d rather not repeat again. Give me a runny nose, a racking cough or fever any day. Just not a UTI, please!

UTI’s are actually very common, affecting mostly women than men. Although not serious, they cause pain and extreme discomfort. Because I constantly had to urge to pee, I once spent an entire night pacing the bathroom floor — wanting to pee but not being able to.

Here are the most common symptoms of a urinary tract infectio: a burning sensation when you urinate, feeling like you need to urinate more often than usual, urine smells bad, back pain, cloudy, dark or bloody urine and pain or discomfort in the lower abdominal area.

Long been used by Native Americans both as food and as treatment of bladder and kidney diseases, the cranberry was believed to be effective because it acidified the urine. It is not really clear to researchers how drinking a glass of cranberry juice three times a day works, but this is the theory. The high acidity in cranberries prevents bacterial growth, thus reducing the chances of E. coli and other bacteria to adhere to the lining of the urinary tract and when you urinate, it gets washed away easily.